Moving With Grief

Andrea B Denney

Welcome, friends, to Remembrance Record. I’m Andrea, and today we’re talking about something close to my heart—the way grief needs community long after the casseroles and sympathy cards stop coming. So often, support evaporates after the first year, leaving those of us still grieving feeling invisible.

Josh Forsh

Absolutely, Andrea. When my dad passed, the world moved on, but we were just getting started with the "real" grief. People expect you to "bounce back," but that old version of yourself doesn't even exist anymore. It’s incredibly isolating for families and caregivers.

Jan Smith

It’s wild how quickly the phone calls slow down. In Tennessee, I saw a group using your After the Goodbye kit, Andrea. It was a game changer. It brought together caregivers who hadn’t been checked on in months. They started meeting weekly just to be seen, and that space for vulnerability was transformative.

Andrea B Denney

That’s the vision. The After the Goodbye program isn’t just a workbook; it’s a sanctuary. I know from my own experience—when my husband’s memory began to fade, the isolation almost swallowed us. Grief shouldn’t be an individual burden; it should be a shared story.

Josh Forsh

Let’s talk about the facilitator’s role because that’s a journey too. You’re not just leading; you’re walking beside them. We use a structure—check-in, theme discussion, and a look toward what’s next—but you have to be ready to drop the plan if someone needs silence or if tears come out of nowhere.

Jan Smith

The flexibility is key. As someone who likes "coloring inside the lines," I’ve learned that grief is messy. The facilitator is there to make it safe, not to fix it. Letting people sit with pain without jumping to solutions is harder than it sounds, but it’s where the healing is.

Andrea B Denney

Honestly, the biggest turning point for me was leading my first group after my husband’s decline. I thought I was there to guide others, but holding that circle helped me process my own grief. It was sacred and messy. Sometimes the best thing you can say is, "I don’t have an answer, but I’ll sit here with you."

Jan Smith

This brings us to the guts of the After the Goodbye journey—twelve chapters across three phases. First, the raw aftermath where existing feels impossible; then the "messy middle" where people find coping skills; and finally, renewal. Not a "cheesy" hope, but a real one.

Andrea B Denney

Exactly. The early chapters are just about honoring the shock. We ask, "What’s a vivid memory from those first days?" Later, we focus on details they never want to forget—a song, a smell, or how someone held a mug.

Josh Forsh

I sat in on a session where the prompt was: "What are you carrying that you’re ready to let go of?" That opened the floodgates. People let go of guilt and old routines they felt forced to keep. Usually, the messiest chapters become the most meaningful.

Jan Smith

And that happens because of emotional safety. If people can’t be honest about shame or anger, healing stalls. As facilitators, we respect every journey. We actually ban the word "closure"—it doesn't exist in our circles.

Josh Forsh

One woman in a group I saw brought in a photo—part of your Signature Remembrance Series, Andrea—and her story became a "legacy moment" for everyone. Storytelling transforms individual loss into community healing.

Jan Smith

But it’s a balance. Facilitators have to keep enough structure to prevent chaos while leaving room for the unexpected. And they have to watch their own energy. You can’t "hold space" if you’re ignoring your own well-being.

Andrea B Denney

Exactly. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s honoring the path. For facilitators, our strength comes from each other. When a group ends, we have to sustain that engagement through alumni circles or mentor programs so people don't drift back into loneliness.

Josh Forsh

We also need to measure impact, but it’s more than just attendance numbers. It’s about the stories. Did someone who was silent finally decide to share? Did they find a new tradition? Those small moments of resilience are our clearest metrics of change.

Jan Smith

Integrating that feedback keeps the program alive. If people need more creative outlets, we add photography or new rituals. It makes the support truly meaningful to that specific community.

Andrea B Denney

This leads to my favorite part: why we say "move with" grief instead of "move on." Traditional bereavement counseling often expects you to be "normal" after a year. But grief isn't something you finish; it shapes who you are.

Josh Forsh

That "get over it" mentality is so harmful. We carry our people and our stories inside us. The transformation is turning that pain into kindness—integrating the love and the lessons and letting them ripple forward.

Jan Smith

I love that. The journey doesn't end with goodbye. For every caregiver listening: You matter, too. Moving with grief is about honoring the ones we’ve lost by living more fully right alongside the ache.

Andrea B Denney

You can find resources for every chapter after the goodbye. Jan, Josh—thank you for sharing your wisdom today. Listeners, you can find our resources and a free gift called the Stillness Suite at "andrea b denney studios dot com".

Jan Smith

Thanks for making space for this, Andrea. To our listeners: keep reaching out. Your feelings are never "too much."

Josh Forsh

Thanks, everyone. Keep inviting others into your healing circle. We’ll catch you on the next episode of Remembrance Record. Take care, y’all.